


Miles Away

by TheEmcee



Category: Big Hero 6 (2014)
Genre: Angst, Complete, Declarations Of Love, Hurt/Comfort, Incest, Love, Love Confessions, M/M, Male Homosexuality, Male Slash, One Shot, Romance, Separations, Sibling Incest, Song Lyrics, Songfic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-01-06
Updated: 2015-01-06
Packaged: 2018-03-06 09:32:25
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,165
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3129647
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheEmcee/pseuds/TheEmcee
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Tadashi should have been excited for this opportunity to go across country to the robotics convention since the main attraction was his robotic nurse, Baymax. But how could he be excited when he was leaving Hiro behind?</p>
            </blockquote>





	Miles Away

**Author's Note:**

> Disclaimer: I don’t own any of the characters, the fandom, or the song lyrics.
> 
> A/N: Remember how I mentioned that I was working on a few other projects? Well, this is one of them. It’s a one shot and it’s done to one of my favorite songs. I hope you all like it! Please feel free to leave a comment in the towel section! R&R. Enjoy!

~…~  
Miles Away  
~…~

‘I pack my bags

And say good-bye to my wife 

For what seems like the millionth time

They said it gets easier, but they lied

She looks at me and says, “Really, 

Baby, I will be just fine.”

But then she looks away

So I don’t have to see her cry

And that is when I ask myself…’

~…~

This was it. This was what all of his hard work, research, and dedication had all been for. Baymax had been completed, had garnered approval from the top minds in SFIT, in the robotics field as a whole, had wowed and awed and stunned and amazed and inspired so many people, had helped and treated and cared for so many people, and now, now it was all paying off. 

Tadashi was finishing up his packing, the last minute essentials that everyone packs the morning of a big trip. He and Baymax were going to the National Robotics Convention in New Yosaka and he would be boarding a plane today – and if things worked out well, there was a possibility that he and Baymax would be going to the World Robotics Convention held in Japan later this year. If all went well, every hospital in the country, hopefully, would be implementing robotic nurses along with the regular staff to assist with providing health care to everyone. So many people would be getting help and care and they wouldn’t have to wait for it if all went well today! 

Tadashi should have been excited.

He should have been pumped and nervous and smiling like an idiot. 

He should have been bouncing on the balls of his feet in anticipation for this trip, for this amazing experience he was about to have, and for what it could mean for the future.

But he wasn’t.

He wasn’t any of those things.

How could he be when he’d be leaving Hiro behind?

 

~...~

'How am I supposed to be

Everything they expect me to be?

When I feel so alone

Because I left my heart at home

She needs me,

But I know they need me too

So God give me the strength to do

What you created me to do'

~...~

 

Hiro was his baby brother and the only family he had left, not including Aunt Cass, who didn't really count as she was his aunt. They had been close before their parents had died, but after they were gone, their bond strengthened and grew and before Tadashi knew it, he was thirteen years old and realizing that he was in love with his little brother. 

That epiphany had shook him to his core and had nearly destroyed everything because of what followed in the wake of it. At first, Tadashi felt horrible, terrible, disgusting, and like he was the absolute worst big brother ever to exist. Who in the world fell in love with their baby brother?! That wasn't natural! That wasn't right! It was wrong in every single sense of the word. And at thirteen, Tadashi had no idea what to do. Maybe it was a phase, but even thinking that little hopeful sentence inside of his own head, he knew that it wasn't. Tadashi never looked at anyone with any interest, by they boy or girl, not they way he looked at Hiro.

So, what did he do? He tried pushing Hiro away from him. If he managed to do that, then perhaps his feelings would go away, diminish. Perhaps it was just because he spent so much time with Hiro, too much time with him, and that was why he was feeling like his heart was being ripped out of his chest every time they parted when they were going to school or when Tadashi was leaving for a field trip with his class and Hiro was stuck behind. Time and space would surely solve his problem.

It didn't.

In fact, things only worsened. Tadashi's heart was constantly aching and he rarely slept and when he did, he was plagued by nightmares about things that could happen to Hiro now that he was at a distance. His moods worsened - without Hiro at his side constantly at home and without all of the hugs and cuddles and laughs, Tadashi felt like he was dehydrating in the Sahara even though the oasis was right there in front of him. It was so bad that it even affected his grades. He was always thinking about Hiro and not about his work. He couldn't concentrate and he wasn't paying as much attention as he normally did.

And what was worst about the entire situation was that Hiro noticed. He noticed right off the bat. Hiro wasn't stupid, not by a long shot; at eight years old, he was actually helping his teachers teach their classes. When he noticed Tadashi behaving strangely, he kept asking him what was wrong, if he was sick, if he was stressed, if he needed his cuddle time, and every other question in between. But Tadashi forced himself to be strong; he was doing this for Hiro, because Hiro deserved so much better than Tadashi, his brother, for a significant other, because Hiro was special, he was important, he was everything, he was the sun and the moon and the stars and the clouds and Heaven and Earth and every single little thing Tadashi could ever want in his whole entire life. 

He broke when he snapped at Hiro when he asked him if he wanted any tea since he looked a bit stressful. Tadashi had never snapped at Hiro before, not ever. Even when he was mad at him - and he never even got mad at him; it was more like an extreme case of worry and concern more than anger - he didn't snap at him. Tadashi never snapped at anybody. Yet he had and it had been at Hiro, his brother, the boy who had become his most important person without Tadashi even realizing it was happening until it was too late. 

Immediately, Tadashi spun around on his chair, feeling like a piece of stinky garbage, and was about to apologize when he stopped and looked at Hiro, actually looked at Hiro for the first time in weeks. 

Hiro looked skinny, skinnier than usual - he wasn't eating and Tadashi hadn't noticed - and he looked tired, with more bags under his eight year old eyes than there should have been - from not sleeping and Tadashi hadn't even noticed. Tears were gliding down his cheeks silently as Hiro stared at Tadashi, his mouth open in shock revealing that gap in between his front teeth that Tadashi positively adored with every fiber of his being, and his too small body was shaking badly, the tremors so strong that Tadashi worried that Hiro might fall over any second. Big, wide, brown eyes held so much love and concern and confusion and pain that Tadashi's stomach twisted violently and almost made him throw up. 

Hiro was in pain, his baby brother, his everything, his Hiro, was hurting and he was the cause of this. No. This was not supposed to be this way. This was not supposed to happen. Tadashi had distanced himself to protect Hiro, yet he had been the person to cause him the most harm that's ever been done to him. Hiro wasn't eating because he was worried about Tadashi - Tadashi knew this because Hiro did it with Aunt Cass as well and he had done it before every time Tadashi had gotten sick. Hiro wasn't sleeping because his mind - just like Tadashi's did now - was racing with a million thoughts in his head, trying to decipher what was wrong and how he could fix it. Hiro was eight years old; he shouldn't think that Tadashi's behavior was his fault, but he did and Tadashi was just now realizing that.

"I'm in love with you, Hiro," Tadashi had muttered then and he put his head in his hands and told Hiro everything, down to the most minute detail. His brother was a genius, he understood everything that was being said to him and had pulled him into a hug when he started crying.

How long Tadashi had talked and cried, he didn't know. All he did know was that Hiro pulled back and looked him in the eye, his face serious, so serious that it would have looked comedic on any other eight year old's face. Not Hiro, though. He didn't look comical or anything of the sort; he looked determined, as though he was bracing himself for whatever Tadashi could throw at him.

"I'm in love with you too, Tadashi," Hiro told him. "And don't give me any grief about me not knowing what love is. I know more than half of the adults in this city combined." It was true; he did.

After that, they talked far into the night. Tadashi had to make sure that Hiro really did understand what he had said, what this meant for them, how taboo it was in society, what they could do in public and what they couldn't. Hiro had listened, had made suggestions of his own, and had argued on certain points until Tadashi saw the reason and logic Hiro had presented.

"We're brothers, Tadashi. Who else could love us better than...us?" Hiro had asked him when Tadashi asked him for the sixth time if he truly knew what this meant for them both. "Do you find other people aside from me attractive?"

"Well...no. I mean, there are attractive people, but they never do anything for me," Tadashi had admitted.

"So, it's just me, then," Hiro confirmed. Tadashi nodded and gave Hiro a loving smile because everything was starting to click into place.

"Yep. Just you," he replied.

"Good, because if it was so wrong, then we wouldn't feel this happy and good, would we?" Hiro countered, challenging Tadashi.

He was right, though. It took Tadashi a while to figure it out, but Hiro was right about them and the love they both shared. How could love be wrong? It wasn't as though Tadashi wanted to ravage Hiro and leave him like he was nothing. No, Tadashi wanted to hold Hiro in his arms, to protect him as much as he could, to give him his love piece by piece bcause he knew no one else could do better, knew Hiro better, and he wanted them to grow, together, as one. 

And that is exactly what they did.

~...~

'Really, I'm so thankful for the

People I meet, the places I've been, and the things I've seen

But when she's not here

It doesn't feel like I'm living my dream

I know they say, that no one is perfect

But I swear she's perfect for me

And that makes it so much harder to leave'

~...~

It hadn't always been an easy road for them. Sometimes, Tadashi still felt like Hiro could do better, and then there were times that Hiro felt like Tadashi could do better. And they had both been petrified when they decided to tell their friends and aunt about them, but the support they received was mind blowing and completely unexpected. But the risks had been worth it all in the end. Tadashi had graduated college and Hiro was set to graduate at sixteen, this coming spring, and they were both working on their perspective robots - Baymax for Tadashi, because health care could always be improved even if Baymax himself was complete, and one Hiro had yet to name that was supposed to revolutionize policing forever. And that lead them to today: Tadashi leaving for the convention. 

Tadashi hadn't been a day without Hiro and vice versa, and now, he was going to the other side of the country for a week. He knew that he should have been super stoked and excited for this trip - all of their friends were as was Aunt Cass - but Tadashi just...wasn't. Well, in a way, yes, he was, but for the most part, he was actually kind of dreading it. Hiro couldn't come with him; aside from having his college work, he had come down with a nasty flu that had him glued to a trash can or the toilet for the day two days, and Tadashi knew that he had to stay home. Aunt Cass was very capable of taking care of Hiro; she had done so for the past thirteen years, so it was nothing knew.

But this was the first time Tadashi wouldn't be around for an extended period of time. Even when he wasn't sick, Hiro needed Tadashi. He was his rock, he kept Hiro grounded while fueling his mind to do more, to be more, and he going away. There would be no cuddles for a week, no hugs from the one he loved the most, no kisses on the forehead or cheek or lips, no make-out sessions in the lab or in the middle of the night that could teeter on the edge of too far - they were both still virgins and had planned on remain that way until Hiro was eighteen, to be safe - and no warm body beside his own when he went to bed at night. Hiro would be all alone and so would Tadashi, even though he'd be around thousands of people

They would both be alone for a whole week.

Tadashi wanted to be excited for this trip; he'd meet a lot of amazing people and he'd get to see a lot of wonderful things at the convention. And Baymax was the main atttraction! People would see how Baymax works and what he could do and people would want more of him for hospitals everywhere. This was Tadashi's dream: to help people by using Baymax. This was it; he was living his dream. So why didn't it feel like it? Why didn't it feel like it was supposed to feel?

The answer was so simple and so obvious: it was because Hiro wouldn't be with him.

His small lover was everything to him; Hiro was his most important person. Tadashi knew why his dream didn't feel like a dream come true: it was because Hiro wouldn't be there with him. As he finished packing his bag, Tadashi knew that he'd be leaving part of himself behind along with Hiro, part of his heart, part of his very soul, the moment he stepped out of the front door. He knew that he wouldn't feel like his normal, usual self at the convention and it wouldn't be because it was such a big deal. It would be because he wasn't a complete person, because he would be leaving Hiro at home.

~...~

'If you miss me,

I'm just a phone call way

Please be strong, be strong for me

I need you to show me how to change the inside of me

For my heart, for their sake

Please be strong, be strong for me'

~...~

Tadashi needed to be strong. He had to be strong. He had to be, because if he wasn't then how could Hiro be strong? They would call each other, text, use video chat, send pictures, emails, but it wouldn't be the same. They wouldn't be able to touch each other until Tadashi returned.

This was important, though. This was Tadashi's dream, this was the turning point for health care, this was it. People were counting on Tadashi and Hiro to be able to do this, to make it through this challenge, to come out on top at the end of the day, to be strong. They had to be. They just had to be.

"Are you sure you'll be okay?" Tadashi asked Hiro as he stepped outside. Placing his bags down on the ground, he turned to his brother, his lover, his most important person, with a concerned expression on his face. Hiro hadn't grown much - he was only five foot five - but Tadashi hadn't realized how much he'd miss that shortness until right now.

"Tadashi, I'll be fine. Aunt Cass and Mochi will be here. And the gang is planning some kind of nerd-athon or something at Fred's place," Hiro replied, trying to act and sound as though he were completely fine with everything. Tadashi knew him better than that, though. He knew it wasn't fine.

"I love you, Hiro," Tadashi said and pulled him into a hug, practically smushing Hiro to his body. Hiro returned his embrace, holding him tightly, his body trembling from the sickness of the flu and from holding back his tears. It made Tadashi tear up.

"Call me and text me every day. Don't miss a single one, got it?" Hiro said when they finally had to part. Tadashi gave him a sad smile, wishing with all of his heart that Hiro could come with him.

"I'll call you several times a day. You'll be so sick of it that you'll wish I had stayed," Tadashi tried to joke. All he got was a half smile at best.

"Please. You'll be so lost in that city that you'll be sending Baymax after me to come and help you find your way out of a paper bag," Hiro replied, grinning up at Tadashi, though it didn't quite meet his eyes.

"Hey, now! That's a little harsh! I can find my way out of paper bags just fine," Tadashi said with mock hurt, pouting at Hiro. "It's plastic bags that give me a hard time."

"Okay, okay! Get outta here before you miss your flight. And good luck with those plastic bags, nerd," Hiro said, shoving Tadashi forward to the rental parked along side the street.

"Hey, Hiro?" Tadashi said, turning around. 

"Yeah?" Hiro said, looking up. Tadashi threw his bags into the bag seat and closed the door before approaching him.

"I love you," he said and pressed his lips to Hiro, promising him that he'd return home and that he'd make up for the week they were losing.

"I love you too, Tadashi," Hiro mummered against his lips before kissing him again.

"I'll be back before you know it, so be strong, Hiro," Tadashi promised him before he got into the rental.

Starting it up, Tadashi pulled out onto the road and headed towards the airport, watching Hiro waving at him until he was no longer in sight. His heart clenched and he felt half empty inside. Leaving Hiro behind for this convention was the hardest thing he had ever had to do. After all, how could a person function properly when they were leaving their heart a home?

~...~

'How am I supposed to be

Everything they expect me to be?

When I feel so alone, so alone...

How am I supposed to be

Everything they expect me to be?

When I feel so alone

Because I left my heart at home?

She needs me

But I know they need me too

So God give me the strength to do

What you created me to do'

~...~


End file.
